The reason the guy wanted to commit so quickly was that he wanted to kind of “trap” me before the extremely important potential deal breakers came to light.
Exactly! Everything is perfect upfront. Then when she’s hooked, the bad behavior comes out. That’s why both parties rush in to this. The other person in the relationship is usually really insecure and fears their “bad” behavior will come to light too, so they jump at the chance for commitment. This guy has all the things women say they want. An insecure woman or a woman who is anxious to lock a guy down is going to fall for this hook, line and sinker.
You are definitely dead on. What I should have included as well (hope the OP reads this too) is that at the time that I went through this, I was having a moment of insecurity based on other things that were happening in my life. I had reached a point in which I started to doubt myself on some levels. Even though I was in the process of working on solutions to the problems I was facing, I felt I needed a “bright spot” in my life. It seems as if the wrong kind of men can almost smell the vulnerability at times. What helped is the fact that I’m a person who does what she says and expect others to do the same if they want to be in my life as a potential partner. So when actions changed and the mirage cleared, I left. But my insecurity at the time is what caused me to overlook the red flags – choosing instead to act on the “hope” that “maybe this will be real” and made the poor decision to give him a chance. Not my smartest moment, but hey, you live and you learn.